I've never thought of  myself as super sensitive. Still, there are some comments and phrases that send annoying signals to my brain.  The words don't have to be mean, ill intended, or coarse.  They are usually oridnary words, spoken in an ordinary conversation.  And yet --

When someone says to me, 'just let me explain that to you ...' My heckles go up.   Or, 'you don't seem to understand..' Yes, I understand, I simply don't agree with you. Other  itchy words to my ears are, 'well obviously'.  No, it is not obviousor I wouldn't be asking the question.  When a self appointed critic looks at something and says 'that's WRONG' my eyes get a certain glint. Each of these remarks, and more, tend to suggest there is only one answer; and it's most defnitely theirs. 

What is it that affects my brain? Not the words.  It's the presention of the words. Instead of let me explain that to you, if the individual said ...'let's see if we can figure that out.'  All ears.  Rather than 'you don't seem to understand,'  perhaps 'that's a tricky one, let's look at it.'   Oh, thank you.  Change 'well obviously..'  to 'what do you think?'   For the scholar who announces 'that's WRONG' how about 'Does that look right to you?' I look again ...Hmmn, maybe not.

Words are powerful - the way they are presented makes them even more powerful.  We learn from questions.  We remember the answers.  We enjoy being part of a good plan or conversation.  It makes us feel like contributors.  

A message from Confucus.  "Tell me and I'll forget.  Show me and I'll remember.  Involve me and I'll understand."  Some of these old adages still hold mighty truths.

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